If
you decide your fate is in your own hands, it is. If you decide you are
pushed around by circumstances beyond your control, you are.
The
truth is, our fate is in our own hands to some degree, and also there
are a lot of things that influence us and are out of our control or have
been preordained (like where we were born).
But if
you decide your fate is in your hands, your fate becomes more in your
hands, and as time goes on, it becomes more and more true, like a small
wave catching more of the wind and becoming an ever larger wave.
It
is only a matter of where you put your attention. For example, if you
pay attention to the forces that influence you beyond your control,
you'll feel helpless, at least a little. Depression, or some degree of
it, follows like thunder after the flash. When people feel helpless,
they don't take actions they could take that would make their situation
better. A belief in one's helplessness actually makes one more helpless.
Put your attention on what you can effect, however,
and your life will go more the way you want it to. You're concentrating
your attention where it counts. This makes you more likely to take
action, and makes your actions more effective. Optimism follows. And as
numerous studies have shown, including the thorough work of Martin
Seligman, PhD, Kogod Professor and Director of Clinical Training in
Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, the
side-effects of optimism are better health, more success,
higher self-esteem, and a greater feeling of control. You'll have a
greater feeling of control because you actually have more control. Your
decision that your fate is in your own hands has given you more control
of your life.
Your fate is, to a considerable degree, what you make it.
Adam Khan is the author of Antivirus For Your Mind: How to Strengthen Your Persistence and Determination and Feel Good More Often and co-author with Klassy Evans of How to Change the Way You Look at Things (in Plain English). Follow his podcast, The Adam Bomb.
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