This is Important

If you know anybody who knows someone with Alzheimer's, please send them this link: The Ruthless Progression of Alzheimer's Can Be Reversed.

It is a tragedy, a monumental tragedy that people right now are deteriorating, their memories disappearing, their abilities fading away, unnecessarily, because they are being told with confidence that Alzheimer's is irreversible. They have been given a death sentence. And it's false.

If someone with Alzheimer's hears the news that Dale Bredesen, MD, found a way to reverse Alzheimer's, it's very likely they'll find out from someone who knows them. Someone like you. Think now. Who do you know that is taking care of someone or married to someone who has Alzheimer's or whose parent has Alzheimer's? Please send them this link now. Let them decide. Let them look into it. They have probably never heard of Dale Bredesen's work. They probably don't know anything like it exists.

So much unnecessary human suffering can be avoided. And you can help make that happen.

Here Comes the Judge

You are kind and generous most of the time. But occasionally you judge, label and disapprove of people — sometimes silently in your mind, sometimes aloud, sometimes for significant reasons, sometimes for petty reasons. Judging people causes an underlying resentment that puts you in a bad mood and makes you tired. And it strains your relationships with people. The stresses from different sources in your life accumulate, and this is a source you can do without.

And no matter how you do it or what the circumstances, when you pass judgement on someone, you are very likely making an error — usually committing at least one of these three forms of what cognitive scientists call distorted thinking:

1. Jumping to conclusions. We rarely know the motives or full story behind the actions a person takes, and yet we come to conclusions quickly and easily that “he’s a jerk” or “she’s a fool” or “how rude” or “what a freak.” We condemn people far too easily.

2. Overgeneralization. A judgment normally involves summing up a complex human being in simple terms based on a few or even one instance. That’s poor science and faulty thinking.

3. Overconfidence in one’s own assessment. You don’t really know why other people do things. And yet you hold your judgments with excessive confidence. We all do it. Overconfidence in our conclusions is a fallibility of human nature.

These thought mistakes can be corrected with practice. The technique is simple: Pay attention to your assessments of other people, and then question and criticize your judgments. Are you jumping to conclusions? Are you overgeneralizing? Do you have enough knowledge to be able to make such an assessment?

Think about it rationally. Maybe you’re being too hasty. Maybe you’re being unnecessarily harsh. Haven’t you yourself done something similar? Sure you have. But there were extenuating circumstances that at least partially excused you, weren’t there? Maybe this person has reasons too, but you don’t know about them. It’s not only possible, it’s very likely.

Question your judgments and you’ll find that many of them aren’t worth much, and you’ll stop holding them.

And what will happen? You’ll feel less stress. You’ll find your relationships gently blossoming in a new way. You’ll be able to talk to the person more freely. You’ll be more relaxed. Conflicts will be easier to resolve because you’ll be able to communicate without anger (no judgement, no anger) and without making the other person defensive (when you’re not judging, people don’t feel attacked, so they don’t get defensive). And in the long run, less stress, anger, and frustration adds up to better health too.

Once you start paying attention to it, you may find out you’re in the habit of judging people a lot. Does this make you bad and wrong? No. Only human. Judging yourself is faulty thinking too.

Adam Khan is the author of Principles For Personal Growth, Slotralogy, Antivirus For Your Mind, and co-author with Klassy Evans of How to Change the Way You Look at Things (in Plain English). Follow his podcast, The Adam Bomb.

Generate Friendliness: Something the World Needs Now, and Something You Would Enjoy

The Buddhist tradition teaches a meditation technique called metta, which is translated as loving-kindness. It's the culmination and end result of the practice of Buddhism, yet it's a simple meditation that brings surprisingly good results right away.

It only takes a few minutes, but it can imbue you with warmth and relaxation and improves the quality of your relationships without making you any less effective. In fact, in relationships that are difficult for you, it will make you more effective.

Here's how to do it:

1. In a quiet place, close your eyes and relax for a moment.

2. Think of anything that gives you a warm, loving feeling. It could be a memory of something someone did for you that touched you, or some story you've read, a scene from a movie, an image of one of your parents or children or siblings, or any thought that generates inside you a friendly feeling.

3. Notice where and what that feeling is. It could be a smiley feeling in your jaw; warmth in your eyes; a relaxed feeling in your abdomen; however you experience it is perfectly fine.

4. Imagine the feeling spreading slowly throughout your body, gradually filling the cells of your body with warm, loving feelings.

5. Slowly open your eyes, and throughout the day, pay attention to that loving-kindness feeling whenever it arises during your day, no matter how slight. You'll notice it talking to someone or shaking hands or thinking about someone. Simply notice the feeling. Pay attention to it and enjoy it.

Love and friendliness are relaxing and enjoyable feelings. It is healthy to feel that way, and the metta meditation brings more of those feelings into your life. It is not only good for you, but any increase in feelings of goodwill, whether in you or in the people you contact, helps make this world a better place.

Get more instruction about how to do metta meditation in the audiobook, Lovingkindness Meditation.

And here's another thing you can do in your daily life that will help create feelings of friendliness and warmth: Becoming Holy.

Adam Khan is the author of Principles For Personal Growth
SlotralogyAntivirus For Your Mindand co-author with Klassy Evans of How to Change the Way You Look at Things (in Plain English). Subscribe to his blog here. You can email him here.



Becoming Holy

I was watching the movie, Kundun, the true story of the 14th Dalai Lama. One of the things that struck me was how peaceful he was. The actor radiated a deep calm. I understand the real Dalai Lama does too, even under the catastrophic circumstances portrayed in the movie.

As part of their spiritual practice, the Buddhists in Tibet say prayers to bring enlightenment to all beings. They wish others well and pray that people find happiness and peace.

I have tried this, just for the hell of it, and found it feels good. Wishing others well — only in my head, now, I'm not talking about saying anything aloud — feels soothing and calming. One of the most distressing experiences is being angry at people and feeling hurt by them. The habit of wishing others well counters that directly. It makes sense that the practice would lead to peace and calm.

If you were in almost continual prayer or meditation, you could probably remain as tranquil as a holy person, no matter what happened. I know, I know, that's crazy, right? You've got a life to live, and you're not about to meditate it away. But I'm thinking more along these lines: What if when you met with someone, you occasionally said something like this to yourself, "May you find happiness."

What would that do to your state of mind? What if while you were walking to your car to go to work, you said a silent prayer for all beings? What state would that put you in? Would you be calmer or more tolerant if someone tailgated you? I think you would. And why not? Most of the negative thoughts we think about other people are worse than worthless. Why not replace it with the practice of blessing other people?

Now when I say "blessing," I don't necessarily mean anything religious. I'm not much of a religious person. You've probably guessed already. I just mean wishing others well. If you want to think of it as asking God for it, or directing some kind of cosmic energy, or using "mind power" or simply wishing it, the effect on your own body is probably the same.

I've been trying out this idea, and it has some very good effects. I haven't ascended yet, but I'm working on it. Last night a friend of mine really got on my back. We were working on a project together, but she was all over me, overseeing me and questioning me to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything or to make sure I was doing it right, and she was very intense about it. When I got up this morning, I thought about last night and I was mad at her. And resentful. But I tried this method — I made a wish that she find happiness in her life — and immediately it changed my feelings toward her. It changed the way I saw her behavior last night. To wish her well, I had to shift myself to a different point of view and from the new perspective, it was clear to me that she meant well and that reminded me that she's a decent, kind person who has been very good to me. It is as if the act of blessing her disengaged me or unhooked me from my self-righteousness, and I became more the kind of person I want to be.

The day after I wrote this article, I came across a new study by researchers at Columbia University showing that women who were trying to get pregnant were twice as successful if someone was praying for their success. And the people praying for the women were total strangers. The women didn't know they were being prayed for, and the nurses and doctors didn't know either. The researchers were surprised, and weren't sure whether or not they should publish their findings, but they decided to do it because the differing pregnancy rates were so huge between the two groups.

My emphasis in this article has been on the effect on you when you wish others well, but it may also be true (and I thought it might help the effect on you) that it might actually help the other person. I'm pretty skeptical about this stuff, but this isn't the first study I've seen like this. I almost didn't include the study in this article but it seems to add some oomph to my well-wishing to think that my blessings might actually do the people some real good, so I put it in.

Give a silent prayer of good wishes — happiness, well-being, peace — for someone. This is good for you and it might be good for the people you interact with. Sometimes praying for others' well-being feels like a job and you just don't feel like it. When that's the case, wish yourself well. You probably need it.

Adam Khan is the author of Principles For Personal Growth, Slotralogy, Antivirus For Your Mind, and co-author with Klassy Evans of How to Change the Way You Look at Things (in Plain English). Follow his podcast, The Adam Bomb.