Focus on raising the moods of others. This does two things simultaneously that really help. When you focus on raising the moods of others, you take your attention off yourself. When you're less focused on yourself, you usually feel better. And second, helping another gives you a helper's high, which feels good and is good for your health.
But what can you do? How can you raise others' moods? Here are a few simple things that will almost always work:
1. Simply show you are glad to see them. When you greet someone you work with or live with, it can be a fairly routine affair. But if you would make an effort to show —
on your face, with your voice, and in your body language — that you are
glad to see someone, it will almost always raise her mood.
2. Give a genuine compliment. This
may seem like a common one, but you can make it much better by trying
to compliment something that is not obvious. If you're complimenting
something that is easily apparent, no doubt the person has been
complimented on it many times already, so your compliment won't do much
to raise his mood. Look harder and find something unique to compliment.
Make sure you compliment something you genuinely like. Take a little time to think of something good.
3. Demonstrate your interest in the person. You
may like someone, or even love her, and yet not show much interest in
her life. Ask questions; listen; then ask more questions. Don't offer
anything about yourself for the moment. It is elevating for most people
to experience someone genuinely interested in the events of their lives.
4. Do the person a favor.
You can do a premeditated action like baking cookies for someone, but
even more important is to be on the lookout for spontaneous
opportunities to do favors for people. Actions speak louder than words,
and having someone volunteer to do you a favor is a strong moodraiser.
You want a surefire way to raise your mood? Raise someone else's. It works every time.
Adam Khan is the author of Slotralogy and co-author with Klassy Evans of What Difference Does It Make?: How the Sexes Differ and What You Can Do About It.